Wednesday, April 14, 2010

when life hands you lemons and things are out of your control.... play with your dollies!

Thank you to those of you who emailed me to say you were worried and missed me this past week! that means a lot to me! I have thought about posting a few times, but my life has been crazy since easter. home life and work life both are causing me huge amounts of stress!

I have been struggling with a family situation that I would love to be able to talk about here, but I just dont feel that it would be right to advertise to the whole internet. So let me just say that one of my children got into a little trouble and as a mama.. I am trying hard to remain positive on the outside, while on the inside I am angry, disappointed, frustrated and worried about the child.

I have tried to put it in Gods hands.. but I keep taking it back! I'm like that.. a bit of an indian giver. (Ummm that may be an inappropriate term these days.. is it Kai? if it is ... I take it back!!) Another of my children is in the process of moving and had a run in with the landlord that she is leaving, this too caused me a large amount of stress.. however that has resolved its self after I called the woman and the police and we let her know that she was breaking the law.

As for work.. cant really talk about that here either.. but the last few nights have not been good in one of the foster homes.. lots of problems.. and many phone calls to me after hours. some of the kids we work with are just plain pains in the butt. SERIOUS pains!

So anyways... I feel things have been spinning out of my control, Not that i'm a control freak or anything, I just dont like it! And Im struggling a little more then I normally would. HOwever.. I will be just fine.. yes I will.

I just hate when things are out of wack.. (not that anyone likes it that way! lol!)
Also always at this time of year.. I find a hundred things wrong with my house that I want fixed and I get irritated that they arent done when I want them done!! And the yard work.. which I m not good at overwhelms me too!
but Its all good.. I just need to make something cute.. and eat something choc in a large quantity! oh yes.. I would love to eat a couple dozen homemade choc chip or peanut butter cookies.. or maybe a whole apple pie! but first.. how about a huge plate of spagetti and garlic bread! or a trip to red robin for a huge bacon blue cheese burger with onion rings! oh my gosh! that sounds soooo good! or... a whole cheese steak sub.. with extra cheese onions and mushrooms! Or.. a country sweet chicken calzone! eiy yie yie!!! I better stop it now!
dont worry.. I wont eat anything like that! I wont do it.. I wont I wont I wont!
I actually lost 4 more pounds in the last couple weeks! yippee! so now I'm just under a 50 pound loss!!
OK.. girls.. sorry for the whinny post! and that I've not been keeping up this week.. I will get caught up with you all! I promise!
Gotta go.. I need to go figure out what to have for dinner.. I was really going to make spagetti, but now im thinking about peanut butter toast and hot choc! (about 10 pieces !!! LOL!)
have a sweet night all!
I'll be eating and playing with my dollies!


Julie said...

Oh, Vivian! I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time--hang in there! It's nice to be able to vent a little, isn't it! You sound like me...when things get out of my control, the only way I can survive is just to put it on the back burner and "play with my dolls", too! (making cards, watching a movie, or, literally, playing with my dolls! My mom does this too!)

I love your dolly collection by the way--fabulous!

I hope things get better very quickly--congrats on the weight loss, too! I've lost 55 this last year...and I just made a big batch of cookies for the kids--YIKES!

Hope your night is a bit better...!

Fran said...

WOW! When it rains it pours. That saying is very true. OR it feels that way. I know how you feel, been there and still go there sometimes. Wish I could take some of your burdens off your shoulders. Things will get better and yes there is light at the end of the tunnel. Reading your post makes me think of myself sometimes. Know how you feel. God says he won't put anymore on us than we can handle. Sometimes it seems like there's more than we can handle. But we do get through it. I've been bad and went off my diet. I'm back on this week and this time I'm staying on it!! It is hard not to go after that cookie, candy or cake sometimes. I know why they are called comfort foods!! If only we could take a small bite and put it down. I can't! :-) Hope your stress gets better and I'm sure it will. Yes, you need to get in your studio and create something wonderful as you do.

Lori said...

Viv, i am SO sorry that you are going through stressful times...i am hugely stressed out myself right now...i feel like my life is spinning out of control some days...the worst part is that i am the ONLY one in this house who stresses about anything...i would love to share the burden, but i can't get any takers...LOL...i hope things all work themselves out for you Viv!!! i am wishing that for you with all my heart!!!

Sandy said...

WHy is it that when things go south they all go at once????? I feel for you and hope it will all get right soon.....My MIL was a juvenile probation officer, and some of the sstories we would here!!!!!! Lucikly they got to rotate to child adoptions every so often so they could have some good news once in take care...I have a question, that adorable paper(?) fabric? that the baby doll is standing on in the last photo...what is that lovely piece???? It caught my eye all thru your post....

Diane said...

Viv, do take care I do understand the feelings we mothers get even with our adult childrens situations, things are very stressful. I mean it is hard enough to keep our heads above water and then the kids lives take on a whole other side of our brain and well being.
Please do take care and congratulations on your weight loss that is something you can control Yippie.
Hugs & Kisses, Diane

Anonymous said...

Vivian, you are clearly stressed, but your positive attitude will get you through,

just love all of the vibrant photos of the dolls...just play with those dolls and all will be right with you! (if only it were that easy, eh?)

ciao bella
hang in
creative carmelina

LuLu Kellogg said...

Oh my have really had a lot to deal with. I am sending you good thoughts that things will settle down for you.

Your dollie collection is wonderful!!!

BIG congrats on your weight loss! I just started eating better and have lost about 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks and it's SO hard but you inspire me :)


Thimbleprims Studio said...

I am so, so sorry!!!! You know that if there is anything I can do to help, ANYTHING, I am only an email away. I mean it, Viv. I am here.
gosh, my heart goes out to you, Mama Viv. It's so incredibly stressful to be worried about a child. In some ways it's worse if it's a grown one, over 18, because there is only so much a parent can do then. I really hope the situation with the child improves for you quickly.
And, the work situation, too.
Things will get better very soon, my dear friend.
And, wow, your weight loss!!!! That is an incredible achievement! Have you gone in the grocery store and looked at 5 ten-pound potato bags? That really shows a person how much weight they were lugging around. I am so so proud of you. How much more do you need to lose? You can put that in a private email if you want. : )
You must feel so buoyant and light physically these days and you did that yourself. Isn't it so much easier to move around? Don't let something like this stuff knock you off your wonderful path to freedom from the excess weight. If anyone deserves to be rid of it and to be wonderfully thin, it is you.
Definitely try not to turn to food for solace. I know it's hard! Believe me. Or just eat a little some thing instead of a big some thing. Is there something you could get like a pretty manicure or a nice facial, or some brand new fun bath products you've been wanting to try? Or maybe a new pair of fun trendy sneakers? Or, some fun new craft things you've been wanting.
Lots and lots of love, my dear friend. In my mind, I am wrapping my arms around you and hugging you and hugging you and hugging you.

Mica said...

wow Viv...#1 thank you for the sweet birthday wish.... #2 I hope all will be alright...I know it must be hard but, you truly have to give things to the Lord...stop taking it back darling Viv!!! It will leave you only in distress like now. It makes me sad to hear your having to go through some bad times. Hang tight dear friend. #3 I love ya bloggy buddy, I will keep you in my prayers.
#4 I love your dollies of course... Hugs, Mica

Debby said...

Oh my dear, you are so stressed! Better days ahead, you can count on it. Our children do not seem to understand the heartache they can cause us, but they will some day! It is great that you can talk to us and get your troubles out. As for the yard work, YUCK!!!! I feel the same way, I don't like, I don't have to like it and I am not going to like it. I am picking my grandson up after school tomorrow and he is going to come over to my house and love it..the yard work that is..LOL...I love all your beautiful dollies.

Terri Smith said...

Ahh Vivian..I'm so very sorry for the recent stress. As a mother, I can totally relate. Just remember to try and tell yourself when trouble comes a-knockin', "This too shall pass."

Truly, I've started repeating it back to myself whenever I have a difficult day, and I promise it calms the soul every time!

Another great idea is probably one you may have already heard.."just smile." Seriously..The actual posturing of the muscles in your face actually sends a signal to the brain and even if you don't believe there's anything worth smiling about..your brain won't be able to figure out the difference. Suddenly nature makes you Feel Better, and all you had to do was Smile.

Sure hope all things improve soon. Just know you have folks out here that care.

Blessings, Joy and Wednesday Sunshine, Terri

Kai said...

First of all, of COURSE you can say Indian Giver (HONEST INJUN!) and I definitely think you are right to stop, breathe, and play a bit! I'm just so glad YOU are okay! Don't give in to the mean old food trap. Eat something satisfying but not outrageous and you'll be happier for it! I'm going to email you later ... love you!

kathy said...

SWEET ViV - i too am a fixer -- i want to save the world - and anytime those i love go through trials , I want to make it right - Thru many trials , I have come to realize that GOd gives us warning taps to get our attention ( this said by my oldest son ) to get us to the path He has planned for us -- and some it may take a few more jolts --When i take my hands off of it --since i can't fix it anyway -- He always has a better plan
ONe of my fav scriptures -- Jeremiah 29 : 11
"For i know the plans I have for you , Plans to give you hope and a future . When you call upon me I will listen --when you seek me with all your heart --I WIll be found by you .
kATHY - GA ♥

Cheryl said...

Ahhhhhhhhh big hug :-)
I used to do the w.w. thing... there is plenty of chocolate out there you can eat to "soothe" yourself. You just eat the chocolate instead of the chicken etc that you normally would eat. I'm smart like that!

~Carrie from Cottage Cozy~ said...

Sometimes there seem to be too many of those darn lemons falling from the can't even keep up with the lemonade making! My thoughts and well wishes are with you and your family and even those "pain in the you know what" kids!

Keep up with the healthy eating`at least that WILL make you feel better!

Much love my friend,
Carrie OX

Tracy Suzanne said...

Oh Sweetie, I'm so sorry that things are like that for you right now. Mom's will be Mom's and we can't help but worry. Congrats on the losing weight. This year for the first time ever I have been on the gaining end and I don't like it and I'm not doing a thing about it so far. Maybe you'll be my inspiration. I've kinda been away from blog roll visiting lately so I thought maybe I just hadn't got to you.

Anyway you are in my prayers and I know God is with you. Take care, relax when you can and above all else have fun. (Yeah I'm really one to give advice)hee-hee.

Hugs and love, Tracy :)

Jingle said...

Vivian, I am so sorry you are going through one of those times when it all just hits at once! The good news is that eventually it will all even out again and you will feel a great sense of relief! I hope things work out for both of your children dealing with issues right now! Stay strong! Your doll collection is amazing, by the way! I am so in love with them!

barbara burkard said...

oh sweet angel....i think we can all say..we are here for you!!! I've made gallons of lemonade...from those lemons over the years....been there...many i'm sending you some sugar to sweeten your day!!!
Sending you a gianourmous hug...and love! SMOOOOOOOOCHIES!

natalea said...

Hey - just remember what I told you on the phone- he could be worse off! hehe!
Things always seem to happen at the same time, don't they? right now I'm in a good spot- but my fingers are crossed (knock on wood!) Well, look at the good! I can't believe you lost 50 pounds!!! that is so awesome! way to go! and our retreat is soon....can't you wait?!
have a good weekend...xox nat

Anonymous said...

That last photo of the little blue girl--she is so adorable!

Great going on the weight loss. I'm going to have to get a shopping cart for all my chins soon. Blah!

Mary Isabella and Kiley too! said...

I am so sorry. I too am going through a situation with one of our sons. If they were only little again and we could put them in the corner. A Mother"s love does not change no matter the age of her children. I am praying for you...m..

Creative Breathing said...

Vivian, Why does life have to have lemons? You are great at making lemonade Viv, but when the line is around the block, you've got to have help! A smiley note, my husband's nickname in high school was Sweet Pea because of Tommy Roe! His initials are PEA! You are in my hear Viv! E

Lydia said...

I said a little prayer for you and yours. I prayed for things to work out simply.

xo Lydia

Natasha Burns said...

so sorry to hear you've been having so many lemons thrown your way Vivian. i hope you can make lemonade of them and enjoy playing with your dolls :) xo

Katsui Jewelry said...

So sorry that things are out of control, Viv. When our kids are having trouble, it is hard to stay out of their way and let God be God. Sounds easy...but it is really hard.

I'll be thinking of you.


Anonymous said...

Just found you at Sandra's..... I KNOW first hand what you are going through. We ALL (except the ones that don't talk about it) have those struggles with our children. I try to live in the future during those times. THe past makes me sad, remembering how sweet and innocent the times were....the present is unbearable at I fix my eyes on the future where we all look back on these times and say "Boy, can you believe it?" It will pass and they will return to the roots you gave them.....with lots of prayer they don't get hurt in the meantime. Hang in there.
Karen Eileen

Ele at abitofpinkheaven said...

Congrats on your weight loss. I'm so sorry your world is spinning, but as a parent I certainly understand. I will add you to my prayer list, and please try and breathe. Glad you have your dolls to play with!

Heather said...

I have to say... I am in love with the little bunny in the last picture! Where is he from?!